by elvisandmojo
on 12/15/2009 at 2:53 PM
in Funny Stories
I think we are going to have to get rid of our dogs after this weekend and this morning. Here is why I'm telling you this (not like it will happen though, I'm just venting):
Saturday morning:
Pulled the famous disappearing act. Finally came home about 30 minutes later. Mom was stressing but went down to do some sewing. Rhys had a friend sleeping over and they come downstairs to tell me one of the dogs is bleeding all over the floor. Mojo had a huge slice on his toe. So I wrap him up in an old sock and call the vet. $112 later he comes home bandaged up with no stitches. Not enough skin to sew so they numbed his foot, cut off the excess skin and bandaged the heck out of his foot. So we spend all day Saturday putting a cut up IV saline bag on his foot each time we need to take him out. Then he starts eating the bandage so I taped a sock to his foot. On Sunday we were going to take off the bandage later in the day (after the kid's party at the club) but come home to him having eaten the bandage. Nice. I wonder what that is going to look like when it passes!
This morning:
Pulled the famous disappearing act at 6 a.m. Jade begins to get worried around 6:30 (of course on her way out the door to go to school). Mojo returns. No Elvis though which is strange as he usually is the first to come home. I put on some sweats and my barn boots (the pretty stripey ones!) and go out looking. I could hear occasional barking so trudge through the wet snow down into the back of the neighbor's property. Of course it is pitch black and I can't see a thing. The barking is faint and then stops. I'm wandering around in the dark for a few minutes. No barking at all now. So I trudge back up the hill and go get Bob and a flashlight. Now I'm starting to get irritated as this is cutting into my "get ready for work mode". So Bob says he is going to walk along the road but I told him I was convinced he was somewhere tangled up near the creek. So I let Mojo out to get him to find his brother. He heads down the hill with me following and Bob lagging way back. I get down to the creek and it is starting to get a little better for visibility (still not even close to daybreak) and I see a black shape in the creek clinging to the ice. Elvis must have walked out on the ice and fell through. So I go tearing through the prickers to get at him. I start kicking the ice to break it to try and make a path for him to get up to the bank. I ended up crashing through the ice myself and then having to roll across another section of ice to get to him. I couldn't pull him up so I went in up to my chest and pushed him over the ice section, dragged him through the stuff I broke up and got him out. I'm freezing and Mojo and Elvis so happy to see each other spend the next two minutes fighting. Bob is about ½ way down the hill by this time and I'm soaked and trying to walk up the hill. Let me tell you. this was the longest walk in the world. We finally get to the house and now I have to try to take off all this wet stuff. I couldn't get one of my boots off so Bob's tugging. I ended up sitting on the concrete while he pulled and pulled and pulled to get the boot off. Needless to say I'm sitting at work still chilled to the bone.
Not sure what kind of drugs those "polar bear" people are on to cut a hole into the ice and take a dip for New Year's Day. I can assure you not to include that to your "bucket list" ever!!!
Tuesday morning:
Nothing like having to bathe the dogs at 6:15 in the morning. Today Bob takes the dudes outside for their morning routine (seeing how I am not going to be responsible for their morning potty). Mojo's doing his business and Elvis is sniffing around like he's going to go and then he goes around my car (into the dark) and comes back stinking like a skunk! Bob didn't even notice the smell, let's the dogs in and Elvis comes up and licks me right on the face. Gross! I almost threw up on him. Not enough Noxema to scrub my face down in the house for that one.
Needless to say, both got baths this morning and I've been spraying the house with Lysol and burning candles all morning. I come into work and the smell has permeated into my jacket and all my co-workers can enjoy the odor with me!!!
I might be able to laugh at this stuff in a couple years but for right now this sh*t ain't funny!!!
Now Don's recommend me to get a Christmas tree air freshener to wear around my neck today! Thanks bud!
Then to follow up:
Bob got a call today from Rhys' teacher asking if possibly one of our dogs might have gotten sprayed by a skunk. Bob told her that one had. She told him that the kids were all complaining about this terrible smell and that she narrowed it down to Rhys' book bag and jacket. Poor kid had to have the stuff bagged up and will be wearing a lost and found jacket home. After this I'm wondering what kind of grief Jade is getting. My poor babies!
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